It's a Strange Condition

At first it was my workload that bogged me now, and then when it lets up, his turn came. So it came to be that we only saw each other again after three weeks. It's Christmas season, and one of hunting presents followed by lighter wallets. He was looking for a certain sort of camera strap, and I'm an idle companion, hugging him by the side when I could.

We wanted to eat the aluminium steamed seafood from the Oasis foodcourt, but it was 9.20 and there isn't anymore. He told me about his day; changing jobs was so good for him. I can see that he feels more alive. And he's talking more because I told him that I cannot stand the silence in our relationship. Don't know if the latter is the driving force, or it is simply that he is more appreciated there. We went to eat ice cream at McD after. And also got him a prosperity meal.

I could feel fatigue setting in, and we headed towards my car; walking past the closed shoplots, I spotted a metal swing. And there we sat, talking and laughing over random things. Sometimes in silence as we searched for possible gifts for his colleague. Passerbys, freshly unleashed from a screening of "Assassin's Creed", talked excitedly about it. Jen joked that we're getting reviews as we sat there. A few younger ones passed, staring intently at their phones. A trio of loud Japanese people talked in a slightly different rhythm in their language. He massaged my shoulders as he usually does and was surprised at how tensed my muscles are again. I love the warmth of his big palms and strong fingers wrapping my shoulder and squeezing it.

It was a pleasant evening. But here's the strange; he doesn't know that I am planning to break up with him in about a month. I just want him to get the present that I've gotten for him first. It is wireless earphones, my first gift to him in our 1-year-6-months-ish relationship.



And recently, I'm no longer Muslim. There's a little of a heartbreak in that, after seeing what I've wrote in the previous posts. Don't know how to tell my mom or family; just didnt feel right yet. Dreading the inevitable shakubuku by the mom and worried that my sibling and in-law will taunt me as kafir.